The Common Wealth

Hi! I imagine you feel relief to see this post. I bet you were very worried that my take on all things Doyle was gone forever, since posting stopped and the season is still a-runnin'. Well, do not fear! I'm just a bad blogger. 

How can you get any better when trying to attract laughs, when you've got a chronically clumsy and entirely accident prone character? Oh, right, make him a redhead. And then have him try to say “b'y” and have Jake look like it gave him a migraine and inform him that 'Only Newfoundlanders can say 'b'y.' On mainlanders, it's just wrong.' And have him reply in a spectacular display of awful grammar: 'I think I said it good.' But the real question: why was his cast so huge? And why didn't they give him an airboot? Is this a subtle comment on the state of healthcare in Newfoundland? Gee, Harper, maybe you could, I don't know...do something useful?

I kind of hated the resolution of the main crime plot in this one. It felt like a cheesy romantic comedy that stopped trying, with the whole 'we'll always have Albania or Argentina or whatever A country it was' clue and the final 'you're a murderer, I can't love you' scene on the dockside while art-thief-oh-just-kidding-I'm-actually-a-hitman Natalie was prepping her sailboat for her quick getaway, provided the wind is on her side. (To be clear, I know sailboats come with small motors for docking and departing harbours).

And Leslie's reconciliation scene with her Dad was also a bit movie of the week. And on the subject of Leslie, I do rather wish they would stop bouncing us around emotionally on where Jake and Leslie stand. One episode, they're extremely into each other and battling the forces of Canadian evil together and the next, they barely touch. I know resolution of this plot line would dry up one of the important sources of Doyle entertainment and drama, but there comes a point when it's been spun out too long and we're approaching that, if we haven't surpassed it already. They either need to resolve this by having one get married or die or they need to permanently unite these two and start having them encounter problems as a couple.

What's up with NewLeslie? She's clearly dirty or, at least, fuelled by some agenda other than serving the good city of St. John's. I'm sensing the set up for a season finale here. Something epic, where NewLeslie tries to destroy Jake and possibly involving the Illuminati, since they're running out of absurd ways for the Doyles to make bat-shit stupid decisions.

Des and his raise crusade. Way to go Des on your quest for a raise – especially since you're clearing making pennies (and we don't even have those in Canada anymore) since even Tinny the cadet laughs at your wage. And double points for bringing it up when the moment couldn't be wrong-er. Like when you're supposed to be offering surveillance at whatever that party was in the opening scene. Oh! Best ever is Des shaking out his wallet, offering to buy Jake and the accident prone ginger a half pint each, and then asking if he can get an advance on his raise.

Most importantly, what is up with Rose's clothes in this episode? That blue-green dress, mostly. She looked like a giant present. 

THE DOYLE REPORT

FROM DUBLIN, WITH LOVE

SEASON 4, EPISODE 1

Des lives! I'm very happy that Des lives. Even though they did do a nice set-up job in the early minutes of this episode for him to die, and I admit to perspiring somewhat when Des flat-lined, but when we jumped to the cemetery, I knew he was fine. Or, at least, not dead. Counter-intuitive? Maybe. But bear with. If Des was actually dead and the Doyles were having a funeral for him, there would have been sad music and sad silent cuts between the family members in their own silent grief. In fact, if Des was going to die, the episode probably wouldn't have even started at the hospital – it would have started months after the event with Jake getting his drink on and Tinny going all emo. Or something. I'm not saying Allan Hawco writes to formula, but he does tend to follow existing trends, which isn't a bad thing; trends exist for a reason. (Except for the trend of stirrup pants. I can only imagine that was a temporary poisoning in international water supplies whose side effects included lapses in judgement.) Not the least of which is making us feel at ease that characters we love are not dead several moments before they crutch hilariously into frame, as Des did.

However, it did feel like the whole 'commemorating the death of Jake's mother' thing was a bit of forced and flimsy reason to get the cast out into a cemetery for some super-fun misdirection. I assume we came in at the end of the whole thing, otherwise Mal got too angry at his brother-in-law to actually do the commemoration part. But still.

I'm loving the evolving Des/Jake relationship that's going on thus far. Jake is so tender and affectionate toward Des – if I can put it that way without making them sound like lovers. I know part of it is because Jake indirectly got Des shot, but it's nice. The whole 'didn't know how much you meant to me until I almost killed you' chestnut. Besides, it's not just Jake. Des is acting a lot more adult-y. Like turning down Jake's request for help on the new case because he's got something else to do. A season ago, he would have been all over it and offering WAY too many suggestions on where to start and then getting smacked upside the head. This relationship was on the road to change before the shooting – reference the scene under the table where Jake and Des are disarming the bomb – and I like it. I think my favourite Des moment this episode was when he said:

DES: But we're like brothers and brothers do nice things for each other, so...

Tinny is now going by Katrina. I'm sure we always knew that Tinny was short for something, but it's all kinds of weird to hear it. Also, how narcissistic is her mother ot give her a variation of her own name? But Tinny's in training to be a cop. She wears her hair in a long braid and goes jogging with other police cadets. I can see how this is entirely the right thing for her to do, it just comes as a surprise. Also, can't she see that she'll constantly be doing favours for her uncle and grandfather once she gets made into a full grown cop?

Tinny also appears to be on a quest to find her father – Jake's ex partner played by Paul Gross – which is an entirely valid quest. I do sense, though, that her decision to become a cop is somehow linked to her rogue, criminal daddy. Or maybe not. Maybe she's going through a phase where she likes guns and badges. We shall see how it all unfolds.

I love love love the crazy fast way Rory talks – Rory is the cousin from Ireland who owes the scary Irish guy buckets of money and steals a statue from the scary black guy to pay back the scary Irish guy, which seems on the surface to be a terrible set of life choices, especially since he's also stealing the scary black guy's stripper girlfriend. That speech he gives right before the casino heist, that was truly awesome.

RORY: You remember all those summers when we used to come visit you and we'd always get into the worst bits of trouble and you remember that time, Jake, when I wanted to ride a shopping cart all the way down mainstreet and you said it'd be a terrible idea, but we did it anyway? Do you remember how much fun we had? Well, I happen to know that behind that door is an underground casino and we're going to rob it!

Picture the above in a super-fast, super-Irish patter. It was awesome. Even if I did have to paraphrase a bit because I couldn't remember the whole speech – give me a break, I only saw it once.

Fun Film Fact! Allan Hawco (Jake) and Sean McGinley (Mal) and Martin McCann (Rory) were all in a movie together about five years ago called Closing The Ring. Although McGinley and Hawco never appeared in a scene together, Hawco and McCann had several scenes together and McGinley had one with him. It's a beautiful movie and you should all see it.

Rose's line: Who wants tea? With whisky? And ice? And no tea?

Might be my favourite line in the whole series. Definitely my favourite line this season.

The way Leslie phones Jake at the end of the episode just to hear his voice – after we find out she's all undercover on what looks to be a drug sting operation thingy and that she's incommunicato to everyone including Jake – is really cute in a heartbreaking sort of way. But cute and ouchy has been the ruling emotion between these self-crossed lovers for a while and I think kudos should go out to the team for still getting this one right.

Now, the thing we're all actually dying to know. The fate of the GTO. It lives too. Sort of. In a limpy, not-running, exploded sort of way. Des, with a little help from Tinny, is paying to have Ned Bishop of Bishop Taxi and the episode with the rum running fame fix it up. They – the creative team – get serious points for having the GTO revealed in this sorry state. I also really liked the way Jake lovingly caressed its' carcass like it was new again. Besides, they've opened the door for weeks of jokes at Jake's expense and that is always fun.

Episode 2: The Return of the Grievous Angel

So, this episode kicks off with the bread and butter of P.I. life. Or what I imagine is the bread and butter of P.I. life. Serving seemingly unfindable people with court papers to make their child support payments. It's especially satisfying because the guy is clearly a huge dick and his employees all hate him (evidenced by the way those two guys in the hall immediately pick up boxes to look busy as the boss runs by and how they immediately point which way he went when Mal asks) but mostly it's satisfying because of the chase scene - with the best bit being when Jake takes that dive when he falls over the walker - that ends with Jake and Dick Guy trying to strangle each other on the way down the conveyor belt. And then there's Mal's deft serving, which deserves some attention: taking the papers from Jake and dropping them on Dick Guy's chest with Consider yourself served. 

Two other favourite Mal moments:
1. When he and Jake are walking back to the GTO and we clearly see 'Dick 4 Hire' on the side and Mal points and lets out a single short laugh.
2. The Panties Exchange 
    M: If she was leaving town you'd think she'd have packed her panties.

    J: Ugh, I hate it when you say that world.

    M: What, panties? Doctors say it. It's clinical.

    J: It's not clinical. When you say it's disgusting.

    M: Panties.

    Then they see Bill watching them and Jake goes over to talk to him and spots Des. Commence chase         scene 2, albeit a lot shorter and involving fewer roofs than 1, but arguably just as much pain for young Des. Jake manhandles him to the car, where Mal says:

    M: I like your work, by the way. It's very tasteful.

    J: Don't encourage him.

    M: You've gotta support the arts.

    J: It is not art.

    D: It is art, man.

    J: Shut up.

    M (getting into the car): Panties.

    I love this exchange. Cracks me up. Also, the child-like goading of father to son totally plays into the episode theme, which I have theories about and will get to shortly. 

The Jake/Nikki story definitely makes some strides this episode. Most of them are kind of weird. Weird in a how did these people EVER manage to get married kind of way. Like Nikki's pillow fetish - fetish in the sense that she has too many, like, a ridiculous amount of pillows, not that they make her hot (I think, but in the words of Judi Dench 'you don't know Newfoundlanders') - and the way Jake takes out his rage on the unsuspecting foam. Or the way Nikki tries to distract him from sex by trying to make him go eat dinner and her insistence that he hasn't turned off the hall light. I love when he's like 'What, is this some new self-help thing you're on' when she cuts short the make out session because she wants to 'figure things out' and she quickly moves the book she was reading to out of Jake's sight and grasp and says 'No.' in a way that totally means yes. And then there's the scene at the end with crazy drunk Nikki at the bar who is being all sensible and adult (mostly and up to a point) until they get back to her place and Jake says they should probably stop sleeping together (which, let's be honest, he only does because he wants to be a better man with the hot Constable) and she fakes calling the cops. Then he leaves, which pretty much puts the cap on the soap-y Nikki and Jake show and completely fits with the theme arc of the episode, the theory about which is still forthcoming. Also, I'm pretty sure that the only time Jake gets punched in this entire episode is when Nikki clocks him with the phone. 

Episode High Points:

ROSE (after unlocking the handcuffs Jake put her and Des in with a hairpin): What? Do you have Stockholm Syndrome?

DES: Can you teach me how to unlock these cuffs like that?

Jake's blatant checking out of Leslie right after she tells him not to leave town since he's the only link to a dead girl stuffed in her car in St. John's. And he does it again after she finds them at Victor Vermin's house and he says 'You've got my number' and Mal has to pull him away with a well timed 'Come boy.'

The chase between Jake and Bill that ends with Bill landing in a giant vat of ice and fish. 

When Jake and Leslie are talking about Jake's problem that his client skipped town on him and Leslie says 'Why don't you hire a PI?' I also love when he opens the car door for Leslie and she gets in and he shuts it and drops the bounced check in its' plastic packaging on her lap and gives her very ADULT advice, like buckle up and safe driving.  

JAKE: Hi. So, when do I get my apology?

LESLIE: Sorry?

JAKE: Thanks, that was quick, I didn't think it'd be that fast.

L: No, I mean 'sorry I don't know what you're talking about.'

J: Whoa, c'mon, Constable. You accused me of murder.

Des getting hired as their 'hot young secretary,' which delights Mal and Rose, possibly because of how much it pisses off Jake. 

So, the framing in this episode is so specific - Jake and Malachi side by side flat to the camera with a third person behind or in front of them (happens almost every time they have a scene with Victor Vermin and again with Des in the garage ostensibly cleaning Jake's car but mostly he's just complaining and drinking Doyle juice - and just to clarify, that's juice owned by the Doyles, not made from Doyles because ew) that I think they must be doing an homage to some P.I. cop show or film. But I don't know the genre well enough to tell you what they're homaging. Any thoughts? 

This episode seems to have a thematic line of growing up and/or the consequences of youthful action. Everyone in his world treats Jake like a teenager or a 'seven year old boy,' and most of all Jake himself. Unless he's with Leslie. Hmmm. The way Mal stops him from knocking on Victor Vermin's door and Jake's childish revenge of taking over and screwing up the interview with the aforementioned. The wild abandon Nikki and Jake bring to their closet sex life; they're so in the moment and uncaring of long term consequences, like the fact that Jake has a peace bond against him from Nikki and he's filing one against her,   that they seem like teenagers and we can see how they once decided marriage was totally the right thing for them. Even Tinny takes a shot at Jake's man-boy state: Bit pathetic, doncha think? A grown man living in his Daddy's house. This line goes through the whole episode - from the opening with Dick Guy spending his child support payments on shiny new trucks from the East to the Rose and Tinny scene by the sink where Rose calls Tinny a little girl and insists she does the dishes. Even in the way Victor Vermin's past comes back to haunt him hardcore - from getting extorted by Emma/Lisa to Bill trying to kill him to his son killing Emma/Lisa and destroying his family. There just seems to be a consistent through line going on, n'est pas? 

Okay, here's something I don't get. They get Victor Vermin and his strange and poorly acted son arrested and then Mal's like 'now that we've cleared our names...' and Jake fills in the blank with 'pint?' And then we cut to the bar where Mal and Rose and Des are well into their drinks and then Jake comes in looking tired and a little beaten and out of sorts. So, why didn't he go with Mal? What happened between leaving the house of Victor Vermin and him arriving at the bar? What took him so long to get there?  Plus, they left Victor Vermin's house in late afternoon, Jake was supposed to meet Nikki at 7:30 and he's two and a half hours late. So, what'd he do? It's like there was originally another scene in there and it got edited away. 

Also, Victor Vermin's son. I can't decide if he's really really good at acting like the stoner skater boi rich kid or if he's a really really mediocre to bad actor. I'm leaning toward that one though. 

Season One, Episode One: Fathers and Sons

Season One, Episode One

Fathers and Sons

This is an important episode. It's the first one and being the first one, it's important. This is the moment where you either gain an audience or lose it entirely. Sure, some people might give you a second chance if your first episode falls a little short of awesome, but there is so much television out there, for all tastes and obsessions, that you really get one honest shot. Ergo, first episodes are important. (I put the 'ergo' in there to give this blog academic balls.) But here we are, going into a fourth season and we're still all watching. And none of us are even a little bit from Newfoundland, so it's not like it's playing on our homesick heartstrings, the sight of brightly painted row houses and tall masts. So, that's a win for you, Allan, that us privileged Ontarioians still hunker down around the idiot box once a week to see you get punched out and clumsy your way into the heart of your attractive lady cop.

First scene – you remember that one, right? Jake chasing Des through the charming and slightly mean streets and across roofs of Saint John's while Malachi follows in the pick-up shouting insults, advice, fatherly concern, and exposition through Jake's radio? There's a lot to establish here, who is important,what is he doing, why do we care? I'm pretty sensitive to bad exposition; it gets under my skin like the itch of an unfortunate trip to the bathroom in a patch of poison ivy; but while I'm aware of it in this episode in a few places, it doesn't bug me.

Malachi: For God sake, Jake, we're private investigators, not militia men!

Leslie: Is he going to be a problem?

Cop: Nah. He was a cop back in the day, but the uniform didn't fit, I don't think.

Generally, though, the pertinent information comes out in not at all annoying or out of character dribbles that stem from the rest of the action/conversation.

I also love how the Des/Jake relationship gets set up, even though we're not sure yet is Des is more than just a one off character. But Des' whole: Don't hit me! Don't hit me! And the number of times Jake smacks him around and handcuffs him and takes his frustrations out of the poor kid. It's like foreshadowing for their complex big brother/little brother thing that we know and love.

I love the way Tinny totally plays both her Uncle Jake and her Pappy with her whole 'women's troubles' excuse for not going to school. I equally love the way Rose sees right through her – which is one hell of clue to who Rose might be. Or was.

Rose (when Mal is all shocked that she reads lips): I got my own mystery.

The cross phone/split screen conversation between Walter and Jake and Jake and Nikki.

Jake: She's completely crazy, Walter, how did you ever let me marry her in the first place?

Nikki: Still me.

Classic, but it makes me laugh. Also, the fact that Walter is in a strip club at, like, ten a.m.

Great moment, where Mal proves he can speak street when he's trying to get info out of that whigger, insurance fraud DJ/bank teller Tom.

Tom: Wanna pimp yer home entertainment system?

Mal: I don't require any speakers, thank you.

When Jake encounters Leslie for the first time in the hospital, the shots get all frosted. You know the look, that blurry, soft around the edges, classic movie-musical thing, total Shirley Jones/Gordon MacRae in the moonlight of a studio sound stage. It's entirely indicative of their seething attraction; that's why that technique exists. Subtle, but effective.

It seems to me that Jake is way more bumbling/stuttering in this episode (and kind of the season) than in later ones. He's a smart guy so maybe it's a PI technique to get more information out of people, like Columbo. Or maybe it's that he's found it makes him cute and charming in his personal life, perfect for snaring girls like Nikki who are practically insane. Or both. But, to support the latter argument, Jake doesn't do the stuttering thing with Leslie. Could this be the woman to whom he shows his true face?

I love, in the lawyer/divorce settlement scene when Nikki throws the jubejubes at Jake. Total crime of passion, which only makes it funnier.

Awesome moment: Jake's silent shoulder roll through the window into Laura Dawe's bathroom.

Also, serious points for the subtle development of the drug subplot – with the picture of the guy who dies working out at Big Gym, then the locker key, then Leslie and her lackeys showing up to bust them.

I love the final framing – Des spray painting Jake's car, Leslie beautifying up to knock on Jake's door, and the lamp falling and breaking behind Leslie in the window obviously from whatever Nikki and Jake are getting up to on the inside while Leslie is checking her breath.

This opening episode is totally about variations of love. Jake and Mal, Jake and Nikki, Jake and Leslie, although they're just on the brink of affection. Mal and Rose, Jake and Benny, Benny and his Dad, Benny and Theresa and their baby (love the misdirection line from Benny btw: I am thinking of my family), not to mention the Jake/Mal/Tinny familial love thing. What we do for it and what it makes us do. It's interesting. It's like Allan and co have set up the whole show as a heartwarming family drama with a PI angle. Like Heartland, but with guns and, you know, decent writing.

Doyle Returneth!

So, I'm sure you've heard by now that The Republic of Doyle will be back for a fourth season! Very excited! The longer it runs, the higher my chances of one day being on it. I'd like to be the red herring - I think that would work for me. ANYWAY! To commemorate this little bit of awesome - the return of Doyle - and proof the powers that be at the CBC aren't entirely cracked, I'll be bringing us up to date on every episode. That's right. Between now and January 2013, look for Reports on all episodes, starting with Fathers and Sons, way back in Season One. Rejoice friends! Doyle Returneth!

Under Pressure

We begin today's Doyle Report - the final report of the season - with a moment of silence. Events transpired during this week's episode that should give us pause, make us think, and cause us to mourn the loss of a very dear friend who has been with us since the beginning.


The GTO.

From the first moment Jake fishtailed his way around a corner in an illegal high speed chase, I don't think I'm off the mark in saying we all fell, if only a little bit, in love. The GTO saw us through, helped us, and our fearless and prone to being punched hero to seek out truth and justice and a good lay, not to mention the occasional pint or dram.


The GTO was there through divorce proceedings, when Jake thought he might be a father, through jealousy and injury and the rescue of a renegade chip truck. The GTO stood bravely by the curb while Jake wooed and loved Leslie and was what literally carried us and Jake through our grief when she ripped his heart out - although he did deserve that quite a lot for getting her demoted and forcing her to wear those awful traffic cop pants.


It was a cruel blow - a very cruel blow, I venture - to see Jake's beloved car blown up by a desperate, panicked, ex-bomb squad villain bitch. Even if it did bring us the wonder of Jake getting in touch with his inner Stanely Kowalski with his cries of My Car! MY CAR!! As the GTO burned in the early winter Newfoundland night.


Now, to business.


It's nice to see Christian is still an idiot, albeit and idiot whose heart is in the right place. That gold bar he just handed over to George without so much as wondering how might be a bad if Jake and Mal didn't have every brick. He did know about all the details of their troubles at that point, so he has no excuse. Geez, Christian. You may do yoga now, but maybe you should do some brain yoga and keep your family from digging themselves deeper holes than they dig themselves.


It was nice to see Kathleen exhibiting some not 'me-centric' behaviour toward Tinny in this final episode of the season. It was actually quite a touching little scene between them, especially when Kathleen warned her daughter she might not like the answer to the question: Who is my father?


Which brings me to the answer. Tinny's Dad is Paul Gross in the form of Jake's old partner, which I really, really didn't see coming. Partially because he showed up for the first and seemingly last time in that season finale last year which I have decided to pretend didn't happen. (All the tied up ends were untied and negated at the beginning of this season, plus it was just kinda clunky with all the out of character choices being made; but you've heard all my complaints about it before, so moving forward). But now, I want to re-watch it to see if there was any indication that he was Kathleen's baby daddy and, even though he kidnapped Des and Tinny because he wanted money or information or keys or whatever it was, if that was part of the why he took her.


I've got to say, this season finale, written by our own beloved Allan Hawco, was WAY better than the last one. It was more or less cohesive and he didn't drop any serious balls - though he did sort of glaze over the gold issue and why it was no longer one. I'm still not sure what happened with that. Because it was a training exercise for the feds, was it not real gold? Just to be clear, I don't rag on Allan Hawco's writing because I think he's a bad writer. I'm not saying I could do better; I don't think I could. I'm just saying he seems a little young on that side of craft. I mean, what do I know? I'm just an upstart crow and I'm probably seriously wide of the mark. After all, which one of us has his own show? Since I don't have the parts to get the pronoun 'his,' I hope you guessed Allan Hawco. I'm just saying he could grow into being a writer, maybe work a little slower, plan a little more, give his screenwriter self a chance to get facial hair. Oh, CBC, please let him grow up!


Absolutest favourite moments:
Des taking advantage of the fact Jake's car got rammed into a telephone pole by one of their kidnapped and escaped federal agents with: Oh, man, and they even took the bumper off!


Des checking his phone while Leslie is confronting all of them about the whereabouts of Jake and Mal, seeing it's a text from Jake that says EMERGENCY! and absenting himself from the room with: I have to go. This is too much for me. My dad's in jail.


Jake slipping the whatever he slipped between the seat the detonater on the bomb in Sophie's car and Mal telling him he's done his part and to get out of there because the rest is up to him. Then Jake says: Yeah, I guess you're right. See ya! Then faking a leave before settling back in, putting his arms on his father and saying If you think I'm going to let you do this alone, you're crazier than I already know you are. We do this together.


And now, let us turn out thoughts to Des. Dear, sweet, quirky, neurotic Des Courtney. Beloved of Tinny, even if she won't believe it. Adopted son of Mal and Rose. Little brother, mentee, and pet punching bag of Jake. He is loved, in spite of all of him, and he will continue to be loved, regardless of the outcome of recent events.


Even from that first episode, where Jake threw him off a roof, where he got all lusty for Tinny, where he graffitted Jake's car with Dick 4 Hire as Jake was in Nikki's house for some illicit nookie, we could see his kindness and his heart and how he was built to give so much to those around him.


When I got home the night this finale aired, my rant to my father went something like this: They killed Des! He got shot! Jakewastryingtogetagunawayfromsomeonewhichhediddobutthenashot wentoffandDesgothitinthestomachandtherewassomuchbloodandtheydohave15minutestofixastomachwoundbutJakesaid'EventhoughyouannoymeIwouldneverletyoudiealone'andDeswaslyingthereandJakewasholdinghimandtherewerecopsallaroundsoDeswasn'talonesohe'sgoingtodie!


But, although I made good points above - and I'm beginning to think Tinny's comment you are so dead to Des after the GTO got stolen might have been foreshadowing - there is reason to take heart. TV characters have survived worse. Benton Fraser got shot pretty much in the spine. Kestler from The Border took a bullet almost in his heart AND survived that, even while a hostage in Afghanistan. Buffy died twice and still went on to save the world again and again. Des' eyes were still open. Not the vacant, dead open eyes you see, but the desperately blinking open eyes of a fighter. The eyes of someone struggling to go on breathing. So I choose to take heart and hope to see Des in recovery next January.


But, if that's not how this turns out.... Well, just as Jake said as they lay under a table together disarming a bomb with the help of an online tutorial on Des' signature laptop, I would never let you die alone, Des. We will not let you die alone. If the cruel powers that be - also known as screenwriters/producers - have deigned it necessary that you should die, know that you will not die alone. A nation is with you.


So, let us raise a glass of whiskey or beer or even Screech (if you don't mind your innards being polished like a Leslie's uniform boots) to our dear friends who may or may not be gone forever: Des Courtney and the GTO!

Con, Steal, Love

Today, we start off this post with possibly the best line to come out of Canadian television since Wanda said “Prepositions are fun” on Corner Gas.
DES: Jake, you're treating me like a human being, it's really weirding me out!
And let's not forget the signature flappy-Des arms that happened when he said it.

Also, did anyone else notice that Des' shirts were more mature in this episode? Less failed-preppy sweater vests, more borderline cool baseball shirts. Perhaps coming face to face with his Dad has made our boy feel more grown up? Time will tell...

Oh! And let's not forget when Jake off-handedly referred to Des with such casualness as: My weird assistant Des. LOVE!

Finn sure has come a long way from hawking video players in exchange for sketchy information under the cover of shipyards, hasn't he?

Let's discuss Annabelle's constant seduction thing. She turns on the sultry voice and the Disney eyes-of-honesty and takes a few tentative steps toward the man she's manipulating in that moment, with the tilty head and they believe her and would lick poop from her fingertips. It even works on Jake, who sees her do this, like, eight times. Men (or rather, man, since only one is reading this) weigh in. Is it that easy?

And another thing: Mal was so obviously set up. The gun in the glove-box, her asking him to hand it to her while wearing gloves herself. Those Doyles, they're intrinsically a trusting lot, which is, of course, why we love them. That and their chiseled features and fashion sense. But it's more than that. Sometimes, they come off as oblivious and stupid almost and it's always in an out of character kind of way. They only act seriously dumb when the season is about to come to an end. So, what's with that?

In my opinion, this episode had way to many plotlines happening. There was the Jake and Annabelle and the violin plotline and there was the Kathleen/Evil Graham Abbey plotline and there was the Evil Graham Abbey/Tinny plotline and there was the Mal/jail/set up for murder plotline. For a one hour-ish episode, that's a lot of really big plotlines and I'm not sure they all got enough attention for any single one of them to be satisfying. It's strange, though. It's like the writers are good at moments, at lines, at the immediate. But when it comes to arc and cohesion and a clear, concise plot line, they kinda suck. No, not suck, but they do fall a bit short. Like they get to the end of the season and go: Shit, yo, we have to tie up ALL THESE THINGS. Better get on that in these last three episodes, and let's make the final one epic, shall we?

And to conclude: a recipe for hash. Why? Because Rose ignored Mal when he said he already ate and I think it's funny.

Rose's Leftover Sunday Dinner Hash

Vegetable oil
1 pepper, chopped (the colour of your choice. I think green taste like soap, but if that's your fav, go for it)
1 onion, chopped
3 medium potatoes, peeled, cooked, and sliced
1 cup diced leftover roast (beef, pork, what-have-you, but I wouldn't recommend fish)
Garlic, salt, and pepper to taste
¼ cup grated cheese (my favourite is sharp old cheddar, but anything gratable will do)

Saute the pepper and onions together in the oil. Add the potatoes. Add the roast. Season to taste. Add the cheese and make it all melty. Eat it. Say yum.